Debacle

May. 10th, 2009 06:42 am
astillar: (Default)
Tonight Liz and I finally had a talk about what happened earlier this week. Liz still feels that my post was an attack on her and I still feel that my post was a bold but honest request for help. We’re not going to agree on that and frankly, that’s not the most important item that we needed to resolve. If anything, my post from earlier this week was just a flare-up, a superficial symptom of other, deeper, older issues we’ve been contending with. In good times, we’ve been able to endure or ignore these issues for the most part. But with me in Dallas indefinitely, Liz alone in Austin planning a wedding, each strapped for money, luxuries, and fun, both of us have become unhappy. Our usual methods of combating unhappiness are denied us for the time being and this added stress has exacerbated the old issues that we can usually deal with. All together, it has become too much. It appears that Liz and I cannot move forward until we deal with these fundamental problems.
The conclusion we reached was that we are not prepared to marry one another. The wedding will be postponed until when and if . . . well, I don’t know. We both agreed that we need to go to couples’ counseling; our own unmediated attempts to reconcile matters has only brought us this far after all. Perhaps with help and advice which the both of us respect and acknowledge, we can progress farther than we could on our own.
I expect that in such therapy, things will get worse before they get better. We’ll have to face the inequities and problems that exist in our relationship and that will not be easy. I’m not sure that we can recognize our faults and shortcomings, accept responsibility for them, and make the true, committed effort to correct them. I am afraid of the possibility that the medicine may kill the patient, that we may not be able to bridge the schisms we find between us. What then?
I may be being overly pessimistic, but this is serious and the stakes are high. I am worried. But I know that this will be the best, in the end. If we do get married, it will be upon a stronger foundation than we have now. We love each other, but we have problems too. Admitting one doesn’t negate the other.
astillar: (Default)
I've once again turned my hotel room into an unholy cosplay mess. I like to think that the housekeeping staff (who needs more Lemon Pledge) is getting used to it. Now they just vacuum around my power tools and props and they haven't revoked my shower curtain privleges since last time, so I think they've accepted me for who I am.
Over the weekend, I got my HD gift cards in the mail and promptly went out to buy a scroll saw. I've been kicking ass with this new tool in my arsenal. However, I did get careless with the belt sander and paid for my stupidity with a good-sized chunk of my thumb. Holy baby Jesus that hurt. It was some consolation to think that I'd have a new scar once it heals. Just 6 virgin fingers to go. And as a bonus, my continued cosplay mishaps have made me rather proficient at one-handed first aid. See, there's a silver lining after all.
Despite recent casualties, progress on the gunblade is going well. I get slowed down occasionally because I don't have ready access to a computer (and thus, the reference pictures). I'm actually making two copies of the prop, one that's all XPVC and one that's XPVC and MDF. I saw this website of a guy who just cranks out MDF props, so I wanted to give it a shot. So far, both materials have their own advantages; we'll see which version turns out best.
It's been bugging me that I let my little girlie bladder stop me from finishing my last post, so 'it's time to correct that mistake' (that was a Robocop quote!).
cut for post-script )

12-12-08

Dec. 12th, 2008 04:41 pm
astillar: (Default)
This weekend Liz is going to have a talk with her parents. They're very conservative and don't approve of the idea of Liz and I living together before we're actually married. (Even though it'd let us save a ton of money that could go towards the wedding.) They don't even want to contemplate the idea. They're helping us pay for the wedding, but the problem is that with their money comes some expectations. Liz and I have already leased an apartment for the two of us, so very soon her parents are going to have to face the fact that we will be living together. Liz believes that by defying her parents' wishes, they'll pull their financial support for the wedding. I'd like to think they wouldn't be so heavy-handed, but Liz's prediction might be most accurate.
If they do pull their support and it falls to the two of us to pay for the wedding, then we would probably have to change venues and/or push the date back. It's not really the money or date that would be the biggest problem. I'd have no problem telling my parents to butt out, but Liz and her family are really close, and there's no telling what this unprecedented act of defiance might do. I'm proud of Liz for taking a stand and siding with me, but at the same time I wish the four of us weren't in this stalemate.
So there's that bit of unpleasantness going on this weekend. I don't know how it's going to turn out.


Oh yeah, and now for the conclusion of the happy meme.

Happy thing #7: It's Friday! (Need I say more?!?)
astillar: (Default)
No, not really. But kinda.
Over the past couple weeks, I've slowly come to the realization that over this next year, money's gonna be tight. Most of Liz's and my spare money will be going towards the wedding. For a few scary moments, it looked like that meant no cosplay or conventions next year. That dumbfounded me. With no cons or cosplay, what was I going to do with myself all year? With no money, nothing to work on, and nowhere to go, I'd go nuts with boredom. The man-part of my brain is somewhat optimistic. He's saying, "Hey Cody! If you guys are both poor, that means you won't be able to go out or do anything that costs money. The only fun things you guys will be able to do is have lots of sex! Just like poor people do! It's free! Woo!" So while he's deluding himself, the rest of my brain is thinking, "Mmmm, nope. That ain't gonna happen. You need to figure something else out."
So I've become committed to having my cake and eating it too. To pay my share of the wedding expenses, but still find a way to hold onto con and cosplay. I've been x-raying my budget and I think I can do both. I'll have to be super disciplined and stay on a budget, which I haven't done since college, when I had to live off of $20 a week for food.
I'm kinda glad in a way, because this sort of gives me a mission, something to shoot for. Because, yeah, if I didn't have cosplay to eat up my spare time, I'd have to join a volunteer or public service organization to keep myself busy. And seriously, a bad-ass costume vs. bettering my community, which am I gonna pick?
Duh.
astillar: (Default)
'Cause every time I watch "Lucy: Daughter of the Devil," I think, "I wanna do a Lucy cosplay group!" In my happy cosplay fantasy, that group would include Lucy, Lucy's Dad, DJ Jesùs, and the Special Clergy Team. Mostly I just want to see a cute Lucy or crazy-ass Sister Mary cosplayed, but I think a group would be wicked awesome. Plus, Lucy's Dad would get to wear those ridiculous Cosby sweaters. How cool is that? There are just two reasons why I don't spearhead this cause.
1) While I may be willing and able to make and wear the masks/heads for this cosplay, I don't think I could find 5 other people willing to volunteer for that kind of misery.
2) With a wedding to save up for, next year is going to be pretty lean as far as cosplay and conventions are concerned. That means no new cosplay, except for what I've already started on.

And so it is with a heavy heart that I tuck my L:DotD hopes back into bed to sleep and dream of one day seeing the light of day. Sleep tight, my cosplay!



astillar: (Default)
I don't wanna talk about money concerns, even though that's the 800-lb pink gorilla that's been lumbering in my head today.
This past weekend Liz and I reserved our wedding date at the Plantation House. I think we did good; I was half expecting that we'd get hitched in a VFW hall or something, so this is a slam dunk by comparison. We also put in our application for an apartment uptown and got a positive response back. There's still a whole bunch of little things to handle in the next couple months, but it's reassuring to have these two big things taken care of.
In unrelated news, I'm pleasantly surprised with this Pandora application, which I heard of through [livejournal.com profile] reebear. I put in a couple of bands that I'm a diehard fan (read, "borderline fanatic") of and it starts generating a playlist in the same vein/genre. It's like a conveyor-belt sushi place, but instead of sushi it's music. I wanna sample everything that comes down the line and end up pigging out. I haven't heard anything OMGLURVE! yet, but alot of "Hmmm, this has potential," stuff. The possibility of finding new music has got all my tingly bits tingling.
astillar: (Default)
Boy am I glad that’s over. It could’ve been worse and it could’ve been better, but I’m just glad it’s behind me now.
cut for length and girth )

¬_¬

Oct. 17th, 2008 10:41 am
astillar: (Default)
Bleh. I think I'm getting sick. Phlegm and sore throat and coughing. Regardless of my physical state, I/we'll be leaving to DFW in a couple hours for my brother's wedding. I feel it's gonna be a stressful weekend, with the various tasks I have to perform (bachelor party and best man's speech for example) compounded by the fact that all my family's gonna be there. But at this point I've kinda stopped stressing over it. It's gonna be expensive and a pain in the ass, but let's just do it already. It would be swell if Liz and I could drive up to Dallas together, but her bosses are being lame and didn't give her the day off. Since I HAVE TO be at the rehearsal dinner tonight, I can't wait for her. *shrug* Oh well. Maybe I'll have fun in spite of myself.

But BONUS! I get to drive by the Dallas fabric district on the way! WOOOO!
astillar: (Default)
Ugh. My dad just called and left a message concerning my brother’s wedding this weekend. He wants to know if I’ve got extra space in my hotel room so he can stay with me/us.
Hell fucking NO.
I haven’t spoken to this man in over a year because I loathe him. I realize that I’ll have to interact with him because this is a family event, but why in the world would I want to spend more than the absolute minimum amount of time in his presence? Like hell I want him as a roommate for the weekend. Plus, this man hits on anything with a vagina, legal or not, stranger or related, it doesn’t matter. Would I want him sleeping in the same room as me and my new fiancé and subjecting her to inappropriate looks and comments and touching all weekend? FUCK NO. God, I hate that man.
He said the hotels were all booked. My ass. I reserved my room the day before he called with no problem. The weekend of October 18th ain’t exactly a busy tourist weekend for Dallas-Fort Worth; there’s gotta be hotels with vacancies. He’s just broke like usual and depending on others to bail him out. Heck, my brother had to give him the free tux just to get him to come. See, the groom usually gets his tux free since the tailor is getting business from all the groomsmen. But was my brother able to enjoy this perk and save a couple hundred dollars on this wedding? No, he had to pass it on to his dad just so he wouldn’t show up in his 1970’s-era “suit” and embarrass us. What a worthless man.
Sorry, I didn’t mean for this post to be negative. I guess my attitude towards him hasn’t cooled in the year or two since I’ve seen him last. Hmm. Well, I think I can at least be civil at the wedding, so long as I don’t have to be around him for too long.

Weekend

Oct. 13th, 2008 08:01 pm
astillar: (Default)
Saturday afternoon we went shopping for my brother’s wedding presents. That gift registry thing made it a relatively painless event. It was pretty easy to identify which items he had picked out and which items she had picked. The digital kitchen scale, the Pyrex baking set, the soufflé ramekins: her. The Wii, HD LCD TV, and Operation board game: him. I went a bit overboard on the shopping. I spent about double what I’d planned to. I kinda felt like I had to though. There we were, barely a week away from their wedding and very few items on the registry had been purchased. On top of that, my mom’s retired, my dad’s unemployed, and my sister’s still in college, so there won’t be many gifts coming from that direction. So I ignored the price tags and kept shopping till there was a respectable pile in my shopping cart. Later on that evening I reserved a room at the wedding hotel. As soon as they quoted us the “con-rate” I thought, “Hmph. Jenny could do better than that.” Bleh. This thing is getting more expensive than I would’ve preferred. I guess I can take some consolation in the thought that in a year it’ll be time for payback, as Liz has reminded me.
Saturday night we went to go see Dave Atell. Liz had never seen him before so I was worried his material might be too crude for her, but I used to watch him a lot on “Insomniac” so I bought the tickets anyways. Supposedly he’s clean and sober now, but watching the show that night, you wouldn’t have thought so. He was funny of course, but his show was kinda haphazard and seemed like he was piecing it together as he went. I was surprised that his show was so rough and random, considering that it was being filmed for a special. I guess I was just expecting a more polished performance. Afterwards we went to dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse since it happened to be on the way back to the parking garage. The pasta was good but the service sucked balls. I determined that our waiter was either under the influence, or needed to be under the influence (of some prescription medicine). It was like the lights were on but nobody was home. Asking what kind of dressing I wanted on my minestrone soup, rationing our “unlimited” bread to just one baby loaf, and assuming that since we were sharing one entrée we could also share one set of silverware. What a space cadet.
astillar: (Default)
So yesterday my brother emails me to remind me that his wedding will be on October 18th. Okay. Dully noted. Then he goes on to say that since I'm going to be the best man, I've got to put the bachelor party together. Whoa, wait, hold up. I've got to put together a party? Like 'organize an event'? Ugh. That's almost like work. What do I know about bachelor parties? Based on what I've seen in movies, they involve women who get naked for money. That sounds expensive. And where's it gonna be? Up at in Dallas where he's going to school, or back in the Valley? When am I supposed to do this? I've got all my vacation time allocated for going to cons. I don't even know where they're getting married, now that I think about it. I don't know how many people he wants to bring. What, am I supposed to pay for all the dances he gets that night?
And me being the BM, I've got to give a speech too, don't I? And probably get a tux too. And then there's the wedding gift too. Ugh. All this time and money and stuff, blah, I'm not the one getting married.

I guess I should email him back and get some info about all this stuff.

P.S. If anyone has tips on an event of this sort (I doubt it, considering my friend's list is 99% sausage-free) please share. I'm clueless.)

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
234567 8
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Style Credit

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Page generated Jul. 29th, 2017 11:55 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Most Popular Tags