Ramp-up to P-day
Sep. 17th, 2008 11:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
astillarWell, I did it. I wasn't sure I could or would, but I did it. I'm glad it's finally out in the open and I no longer have to live a lie.
I'd been thinking about marriage off and on for months. Mostly in an academic sort of way, arguing for and against it, trying to convince myself one way or another. I was trying to determine how I would "know" it was time, if ever. It wasn't until July that I knew, with my heart, that I should do it. All those logical arguments and pros and cons turned out to be moot; this wasn't something I could figure out mentally.
Deciding I was going to propose was the easy part. Asking her parents' permission was the really scary part. At first I thought/hoped I could avoid the ordeal altogether. "After all," I thought, "I'm marrying Star, not them. Why do I need their permission? We're both adults." But as I thought about it more I realized that excluding them would be a terrible way to start our relationship. But I digress, I've already written about that day in another post.
Anyways, getting her parents' blessing may have been the most nerve-wracking part, but the hardest part was keeping it a secret from Star for another month. Her mom was most definitely the weakest link. The two of them talk to each other every ten minutes it seems, so I was worried that her mom would spill the beans despite her best intentions and promises.
My biggest adversary though was Star herself. She always wants to know what I'm thinking, where I'm going, and what I'm doing (I think that's what they call "being a typical woman"). Plus we spend almost all our spare time together. So this made it very hard for me to sneak away for covert missions. That's why I decided to propose to her on her birthday. I figured that way I could use her birthday as a cover story and excuse for any suspicious activity on my part. An accomplice might have made things easier, but I wasn't sure I could trust any of our girl friends and I don't have any guy friends that owe me favors of this magnitude. So it was just me versus the ALL SEEING EYE OFSAURON STAR.
Getting the ring was tricky. Star never takes her rings off, only occasionally while she sleeps and there aren't any 24-hr jewelers I could go to. Since I couldn't borrow her rings without her noticing, I had to settle for trying them on when she wasn't looking and then running to the jeweler's (not Jared's) where I tried on rings till I figured out her size. Being at the jewelry store made me feel all sorts of icky and weird inside but I soldiered through it. I picked out a ring and ordered it and thought I was done. That is, until the ring arrived in the mail. It was the wrong size. Ugh. Back to the jewelry store.
Once I got the real ring I became impatient. I just wanted to give it to her. I was like, "Why wait? Just tell her! Romance, shmomance." But no, the rules state that the proposal has to be special and romantic and unique and blahblahblah. So I waited. This made it difficult over the next few weeks to listen to her whenever she'd get upset about financial worries or our awkward living situation. I wanted to tell her, "Don't worry about it! we're gonna move in together and save money and things won't be so complicated! It'll be awesome, just hang in there!" But I couldn't tell her that. All I could do was be vaguely optimistic without telling her why. This got me into trouble on a few occasions, since she thought I wasn't taking her concerns seriously and that I was just glossing over her worries. But it wasn't too bad.
I'd had a month and more to plan my actual proposal but for the most part, I was stumped. I'd looked online for ideas but all I found were ridiculous, unrealistic, Hollywood-like scenarios. The best idea I had (and that I thought would work) was to take Star to the lake after dinner for duck-feeding and sunset-watching and pop the question there. I thought that was a simple plan but even it fell into jeopardy.
Work conspired against me, sending me to a CMT job for the first time in over a year. That meant I didn't get home till 7 pm on her birthday. That meant there was no way we could get to dinner and the lake before dark. There wasn't any sunset anyways; the sky was totally overcast. Dammit. With Nature herself against me, I started to think that tonight might not be the night. Maybe I should just wait and try again some other time. But Star wanted to at least try and see some ducks so we went to the Arboretum pond instead. By the time we got there the park was already closed, according to the sign. We went in anyways. The ducks had already bedded down for the evening and the geese swore at us in goose-speak but once we sat at the picnic table we were left in peace.
It was quickly getting dark so I knew I didn't have much time. All the rehearsed speeches I'd come up with now sounded corny and artificial in my head. I tried to direct the conversation away from inane chit-chat towards more serious and romantic-ish topics. But I still couldn't bring myself to act all overly dramatic or romantic. And yet, a moment came in the conversation where I thought, "Do it now."
Star started crying when she saw the ring-sized box. "What is this?" she asked, as if she didn't already know. I watched her shaky hands open the box and the sight of the ring renewed her crying. (I just wish it hadn't been so dark so that she could've seen it better.) It was a couple of minutes before she had settled down enough for me to actually drop to my knee and continue. I've never seen that mix of smiles and tears on her face before.
The romantic moment didn't last long before a raccoon waddled out from the underbrush and made a beeline for our table. He didn't seem to care that we were there so we retreated to the truck rather than risk rabies.
On the way to the restaurant Star began the interrogation. Who else knew, how long had I been planning it, had I asked her parents, etc etc etc. I'd expected as much, so I did my best to diplomatically answer her questions. I kinda wanted spend more time bragging about all the stealthy awesomeness I'd accomplished over the past few weeks but Star soon moved on to her next priority, calling everyone she knew to tell them the news. We sat there in the parking lot for AWHILE as she did that and then went inside for dinner. Sushi Sake = yum.
Star continued with the phone calls at the table. I tried shushing her when she started to get loud, but to no avail. I know she was happy, but this was a nice(r) restaurant and people were starting to look over at us. Apparently people had noticed because the couple seated next to us bought us some champagne and the restaurant offered us a free dessert. Woo! Kinda makes me wish we'd gone to DQ for dinner instead. I would've liked a Blizzard.
I'd been thinking about marriage off and on for months. Mostly in an academic sort of way, arguing for and against it, trying to convince myself one way or another. I was trying to determine how I would "know" it was time, if ever. It wasn't until July that I knew, with my heart, that I should do it. All those logical arguments and pros and cons turned out to be moot; this wasn't something I could figure out mentally.
Deciding I was going to propose was the easy part. Asking her parents' permission was the really scary part. At first I thought/hoped I could avoid the ordeal altogether. "After all," I thought, "I'm marrying Star, not them. Why do I need their permission? We're both adults." But as I thought about it more I realized that excluding them would be a terrible way to start our relationship. But I digress, I've already written about that day in another post.
Anyways, getting her parents' blessing may have been the most nerve-wracking part, but the hardest part was keeping it a secret from Star for another month. Her mom was most definitely the weakest link. The two of them talk to each other every ten minutes it seems, so I was worried that her mom would spill the beans despite her best intentions and promises.
My biggest adversary though was Star herself. She always wants to know what I'm thinking, where I'm going, and what I'm doing (I think that's what they call "being a typical woman"). Plus we spend almost all our spare time together. So this made it very hard for me to sneak away for covert missions. That's why I decided to propose to her on her birthday. I figured that way I could use her birthday as a cover story and excuse for any suspicious activity on my part. An accomplice might have made things easier, but I wasn't sure I could trust any of our girl friends and I don't have any guy friends that owe me favors of this magnitude. So it was just me versus the ALL SEEING EYE OF
Getting the ring was tricky. Star never takes her rings off, only occasionally while she sleeps and there aren't any 24-hr jewelers I could go to. Since I couldn't borrow her rings without her noticing, I had to settle for trying them on when she wasn't looking and then running to the jeweler's (not Jared's) where I tried on rings till I figured out her size. Being at the jewelry store made me feel all sorts of icky and weird inside but I soldiered through it. I picked out a ring and ordered it and thought I was done. That is, until the ring arrived in the mail. It was the wrong size. Ugh. Back to the jewelry store.
Once I got the real ring I became impatient. I just wanted to give it to her. I was like, "Why wait? Just tell her! Romance, shmomance." But no, the rules state that the proposal has to be special and romantic and unique and blahblahblah. So I waited. This made it difficult over the next few weeks to listen to her whenever she'd get upset about financial worries or our awkward living situation. I wanted to tell her, "Don't worry about it! we're gonna move in together and save money and things won't be so complicated! It'll be awesome, just hang in there!" But I couldn't tell her that. All I could do was be vaguely optimistic without telling her why. This got me into trouble on a few occasions, since she thought I wasn't taking her concerns seriously and that I was just glossing over her worries. But it wasn't too bad.
I'd had a month and more to plan my actual proposal but for the most part, I was stumped. I'd looked online for ideas but all I found were ridiculous, unrealistic, Hollywood-like scenarios. The best idea I had (and that I thought would work) was to take Star to the lake after dinner for duck-feeding and sunset-watching and pop the question there. I thought that was a simple plan but even it fell into jeopardy.
Work conspired against me, sending me to a CMT job for the first time in over a year. That meant I didn't get home till 7 pm on her birthday. That meant there was no way we could get to dinner and the lake before dark. There wasn't any sunset anyways; the sky was totally overcast. Dammit. With Nature herself against me, I started to think that tonight might not be the night. Maybe I should just wait and try again some other time. But Star wanted to at least try and see some ducks so we went to the Arboretum pond instead. By the time we got there the park was already closed, according to the sign. We went in anyways. The ducks had already bedded down for the evening and the geese swore at us in goose-speak but once we sat at the picnic table we were left in peace.
It was quickly getting dark so I knew I didn't have much time. All the rehearsed speeches I'd come up with now sounded corny and artificial in my head. I tried to direct the conversation away from inane chit-chat towards more serious and romantic-ish topics. But I still couldn't bring myself to act all overly dramatic or romantic. And yet, a moment came in the conversation where I thought, "Do it now."
Star started crying when she saw the ring-sized box. "What is this?" she asked, as if she didn't already know. I watched her shaky hands open the box and the sight of the ring renewed her crying. (I just wish it hadn't been so dark so that she could've seen it better.) It was a couple of minutes before she had settled down enough for me to actually drop to my knee and continue. I've never seen that mix of smiles and tears on her face before.
The romantic moment didn't last long before a raccoon waddled out from the underbrush and made a beeline for our table. He didn't seem to care that we were there so we retreated to the truck rather than risk rabies.
On the way to the restaurant Star began the interrogation. Who else knew, how long had I been planning it, had I asked her parents, etc etc etc. I'd expected as much, so I did my best to diplomatically answer her questions. I kinda wanted spend more time bragging about all the stealthy awesomeness I'd accomplished over the past few weeks but Star soon moved on to her next priority, calling everyone she knew to tell them the news. We sat there in the parking lot for AWHILE as she did that and then went inside for dinner. Sushi Sake = yum.
Star continued with the phone calls at the table. I tried shushing her when she started to get loud, but to no avail. I know she was happy, but this was a nice(r) restaurant and people were starting to look over at us. Apparently people had noticed because the couple seated next to us bought us some champagne and the restaurant offered us a free dessert. Woo! Kinda makes me wish we'd gone to DQ for dinner instead. I would've liked a Blizzard.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 08:01 pm (UTC)DAMN CODY!
Congratulations!
Protip: She probably would have gotten mad if you had gone to DQ for your post proposal dinner. Smart move on the sushi there.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 02:23 am (UTC)It seems like friggin everyone is getting engaged this year.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 05:23 am (UTC)and *;punch* for not thinking us girls could keep it secret >_<
...:P
hehehehe
I'm just too happy for you guys!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 05:36 am (UTC)CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
And good call on thinking the chicks couldn't keep it a secret....they never can >:3
*squee* Awwww you two are so ADORABLE!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-08 11:35 pm (UTC)Congratulations!! Cody ISN'T going to die alone!!! YAY!!
*so happy for you two*