Is the number 9 happy?

[astillar]

Liz and I went to our first couple’s counseling session yesterday. Even though I thought I was fine with the idea, in the hours leading up to the meeting I could feel myself getting panicky and I just wanted to bail. Once we got there and filled out the paperwork, my nerves subsided as it became apparent that this was real and was going to happen.
Liz had chosen a female doctor that she had been referred to by her individual therapist. This doctor happens to be out of our insurance network, so instead of a $25 co-pay, it’s full price at $150 a session. I balked at the price at first, considering that this could get expensive pretty quick, but I know the investment is worth it.
There isn’t much to say about the session itself. This being our first meeting, the conversation mostly served to describe, in broad brushstrokes, how our relationship got started, it’s general history, and what issues about it brought us to counseling. Liz garnered most of the attention during the Q&A, I think she felt very compelled to make sure her side of the story was understood by the doctor. I was mostly content to allow her to explain our situation, as I have difficulty talking and thinking at the same time. It did irritate me though how Liz continued to use hyperbole and metaphors to describe our relationship. I mean, that kind of speaking is fine in a casual setting, but in this setting I felt we needed to cut the BS and melodrama and just level with the doctor, rather than use embellishment to try and convince her of one version of the story versus another. To her credit, it seemed like the doctor was beginning to steer Liz away from using oversimplified and charged language to state her case, by asking her to explain what she meant. Hopefully Liz will soon come to the conclusion that she can’t win the doctor to her side by using powerful language.
We had barely begun to scratch the surface before our hour was up. The doctor suggested that we each see her individually once before our next couples’ session, so that we can both have a chance to speak freely without the other being present. I know that session will be mentally exhausting, having to sustain that level of focus and critical thinking for an hour straight, but I’m looking forward to finally having an opportunity to articulate my thoughts to someone who wants to listen, rather than leaning on the kindness of friends and family to partially confide in them from time to time. I don’t believe I’ll try to convince the doctor of "my side of the story," I’m more interested in hearing her input on my evaluations of our relationship. I’ve developed a lot of partial theories about our relationship and I’d like to know which ones are accurate and which are way off the mark. A second opinion, yes please.
So next week both Liz and I will be seeing the doctor individually. I’m thinking those meetings will bring the doctor up to speed and following that, we may begin to make some real progress.

Comments

[trickyfrog.livejournal.com]

Good, overall, I think it seems like a positive direction-plus it happened a WHOLE LOT sooner than you thought, right? <3 I was thinking you were gonna have to wait another month, too.

[becala.livejournal.com]

A decent therapist won't be "won over" anyway. If this is what Liz is truly trying to do, I find it worrisome. I find it more likely, though, that she just doesn't know how else to communicate or think about things.