Nerd mating habits

[astillar]

I’m not proud to admit it, but a week or so ago, I joined eHarmony.com. Yes, yes, I know it’s lame. I know, let’s just brand a big "L" on my forehead already. I’m not really the kind of guy (nor do I have enough dude buddies) to go to bars or clubs to meet women. And my social circle is strictly limited to cosplay friends, which is a pretty small pond to be fishing from. For a while I was seriously thinking about joining a fun recreational group, like dodgeball or softball or camping, to increase the number and types of people I know. But given my erratic work schedule, I can’t really commit to anything that has a regular schedule. So I needed some way to branch out, despite these handicaps. Internet to the rescue!
Frankly, my biggest reason is probably just that I’m tired of looking in the rearview mirror, relationship-wise. I want to start looking (and moving) forward. I realize that I may not be able to trust my own assessment of when I’m ready to start again, so this online avenue seems a prudent, low-risk way of getting back into it.
So far it’s been fun and interesting. Already I feel more positive, occupied with considering other people and simultaneously evaluating myself and what I have to offer (or don’t). At this point it’s mostly window-shopping and trying to get to know people who appear to be interesting and compatible. A lot of the connections fizzle out, but that’s no different from ‘real-life’ interactions. I like that you can take it at your own pace and you’ve really got nothing to lose by trying.
If something fruitful comes from eHarmony, that would be fantastic. If nothing comes of it except for maybe a few dead-end dates, that’s okay too. Like I said earlier, this is just a nudge to get the ball rolling again. It’s just to help me warm up to the idea of being in a relationship again. And in that aspect, it’s already working.

Comments

[xhezachanx.livejournal.com]

Don't feel bad.

Me and my boyfriend met through OtakuBooty. lol

[astillar.livejournal.com]

OMG, seriously? Wow. That is cool. What a story that must be to tell.

[xhezachanx.livejournal.com]

Dead serious. LOL XD He messaged me one day about Valentines day (3 years ago) and called it "Singles awareness day". I laughed at him and told him that I actually like the holiday due to buying cheap candy the day after.

Then we began chatting on AIM. He lived 2 hours away in Columbus, OH. Then on St. Patty's day that year, he asked me out on a date. Drove all the way to see me and we hung out and partied over at my friend's condo.

We've been together ever since :3

[azriel-oda.livejournal.com]

Pfft. Going to bars and clubs to meet women is, in my opinion, a fuckin bad idea.

So yea! Go Cody! This is me cheering you on!

[opheliasavalon.livejournal.com]

There's something in the air. As I read this, I'm also chatting with my husband as he tries to pick up women on Craigslist. Apparently the pickings are good as long as you're not in an open relationship.

[becala.livejournal.com]

I have met most of my partners online, though usually through mutual interest type sites like MUDs, and not so much dating services. The ones I haven't met online, I found that what ended up failing about our relationship is not having that forum in which to get to know each other, and things that should have been dealbreakers not coming to light until really far into the relationship. Yes, I guess this could be solved by just taking it slow, which is something I have always struggled with. Just saying, meeting women online is not a bad way to go.

That said, eharmony is on my shit list because they only serve straight people. Lame.

[astillar.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha. I never noticed that about eH, but you're right. I'd boycott their asses if I hadn't already paid upfront.

[becala.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's no reason you would think to check, being straight yourself. The only reason I know about the gay thing is because there was an article about it back when it was first getting started up.

I toyed around with some dating services last year, right before I met Eric, but the scuzz factor was really high, lots of creepy drive-bys from people with whom I had nothing in common and who were not smart enough or weird enough for me. eHarmony might actually be better. Of course if I didn't already know, I would have been royally pissed when I tried to sign up and found I couldn't specify that I was looking for both men *and* women.