Surprise attack!
Jul. 19th, 2005 06:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
astillarI got my "employee performance review" today. Or whatever the official name for it is. I didn't even see it coming. Well, I'd heard some people mention that the annual round of reviews occurred in July, but I figured as a new employee, I was exempt. Nope. As soon as I come in this morning, my boss-boss asks me, "What're you doing today?" (Which is always a question I never know how to answer. Say "nothing!" and look like a total slacker, or say, "I'm busy!" and appear uncooperative?) So I was like, "Uh . . . not much?" "How about lunch then?" "Okay." And he hasn't invited me to lunch since my interview for the job, so that's when it clicked. Aaaaaah. But I didn't get nervous about it or anything. It's not like there was anything I could do at that point to alter the outcome, as it were.
Lunchtime rolls around and the review goes pretty fair. Mostly chit-chat about what I like/dislike about my duties, what do I think about such and such, etc. But then he pulled out the actual performance review forms to actually quantify the quality of my work. That's when we got down to brass tacks. I've never been critically reviewed like that, right in front of my face, but it wasn't that bad. In my own evaluations, I tend to grade myself pretty harshly. So the marks he gave me were higher than what I would have given myself. I even told him so.It was very useful to hear how someone else viewed my work, attitude, etc in such a frank manner. 'Cause I look back, and the mistakes stand out alot more than the successes. Do they ever. Hell, when he asked me to lunch, a little dark voice in my head said, "Maybe this is where they let you go." That's how much confidence I have in my security. Overall, the review process helped me, by really pinpointing my weaknesses and reminding me of my strengths, minor as they are.
Then he mentions a pay raise, which causes my thoughts to grind to a halt. I just kinda sat there blankly; I couldn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. I mean, so many of my mistakes have some sort of price tag associated with them, some pretty hefty. So if anything, I should be taking a pay cut, or paying some fines for my errors. That I would understand. But a pay raise? That I couldn't understand. He looked at me when he mentioned it, expecting some sort of positive response I guess, but I was all, "Oh . . . Really? Well . . . okay." I didn't know what to say; it's not like I could refuse it. I don't know, maybe they're just using the kid gloves on me. This time it's the carrot, maybe next time will be the whip.
So I guess things turned out rather well, considering . . .
Lunchtime rolls around and the review goes pretty fair. Mostly chit-chat about what I like/dislike about my duties, what do I think about such and such, etc. But then he pulled out the actual performance review forms to actually quantify the quality of my work. That's when we got down to brass tacks. I've never been critically reviewed like that, right in front of my face, but it wasn't that bad. In my own evaluations, I tend to grade myself pretty harshly. So the marks he gave me were higher than what I would have given myself. I even told him so.It was very useful to hear how someone else viewed my work, attitude, etc in such a frank manner. 'Cause I look back, and the mistakes stand out alot more than the successes. Do they ever. Hell, when he asked me to lunch, a little dark voice in my head said, "Maybe this is where they let you go." That's how much confidence I have in my security. Overall, the review process helped me, by really pinpointing my weaknesses and reminding me of my strengths, minor as they are.
Then he mentions a pay raise, which causes my thoughts to grind to a halt. I just kinda sat there blankly; I couldn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. I mean, so many of my mistakes have some sort of price tag associated with them, some pretty hefty. So if anything, I should be taking a pay cut, or paying some fines for my errors. That I would understand. But a pay raise? That I couldn't understand. He looked at me when he mentioned it, expecting some sort of positive response I guess, but I was all, "Oh . . . Really? Well . . . okay." I didn't know what to say; it's not like I could refuse it. I don't know, maybe they're just using the kid gloves on me. This time it's the carrot, maybe next time will be the whip.
So I guess things turned out rather well, considering . . .
