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"No . . . kids sitting in my lap give me a hard-on."
Ha ha ha ha. Oh man, he's funny. Taken out of context, that statement sounds very bad. Even in context, it sounds bad. Heh heh heh. But I couldn't help but reply, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
I had lunch with one of the guys I work with yesterday. He's one funny bastard. Clever as hell. He looks and sounds like a hill-billy. Old, scruffy, grizzled, with a beard and everything. He had been talking about his cock-fighting business on the side, the time he had eleven deputies invading his property, his civil war era firearms collection, etc. I'm not even sure he can be called a hillbilly. His lifestyle and appearance sure fit the bill, but he's sharp as a tack and usually you think of hillbillies as ignorant.
Anyways, the conversation wandered. Then he mentions how one year, in December, a Christian female co-worker at the office pats his belly and asks, "So will you be playing Santa at the Christmas party?" To which he replies, "No . . . kids sitting in my lap give me a hard-on." Ha ha ha ha. Oh man, it's still funny. But the best part is that a mom and her little boy were sitting at the next table from us and when he said that, she jumped. Oh man, I nearly snorted tea out my nose. I've been in his shoes (or pants, if you prefer). This one time, I was at a friend's house. I'm waiting in the living room and the little tyke comes over, "You wanna watch Blue's Clues?" Okay, whatever. She plops down in my lap and we watch the show. But she starts squirming; she won't sit still. And I'm like, "Whoa! You need to settle down or else we're both gonna need Pampers." After a few minutes I had to push her off. I couldn't enjoy Blue's Clues after that, I kept wondering if this made me an evil, sinful man. Heh heh heh.
Ha ha ha ha. Oh man, he's funny. Taken out of context, that statement sounds very bad. Even in context, it sounds bad. Heh heh heh. But I couldn't help but reply, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
I had lunch with one of the guys I work with yesterday. He's one funny bastard. Clever as hell. He looks and sounds like a hill-billy. Old, scruffy, grizzled, with a beard and everything. He had been talking about his cock-fighting business on the side, the time he had eleven deputies invading his property, his civil war era firearms collection, etc. I'm not even sure he can be called a hillbilly. His lifestyle and appearance sure fit the bill, but he's sharp as a tack and usually you think of hillbillies as ignorant.
Anyways, the conversation wandered. Then he mentions how one year, in December, a Christian female co-worker at the office pats his belly and asks, "So will you be playing Santa at the Christmas party?" To which he replies, "No . . . kids sitting in my lap give me a hard-on." Ha ha ha ha. Oh man, it's still funny. But the best part is that a mom and her little boy were sitting at the next table from us and when he said that, she jumped. Oh man, I nearly snorted tea out my nose. I've been in his shoes (or pants, if you prefer). This one time, I was at a friend's house. I'm waiting in the living room and the little tyke comes over, "You wanna watch Blue's Clues?" Okay, whatever. She plops down in my lap and we watch the show. But she starts squirming; she won't sit still. And I'm like, "Whoa! You need to settle down or else we're both gonna need Pampers." After a few minutes I had to push her off. I couldn't enjoy Blue's Clues after that, I kept wondering if this made me an evil, sinful man. Heh heh heh.
